John L. Stone
C.H.O.I.C.E.S. Model: Choosing Love Instead of Fear is a self-empowerment book which was 35 years in the making and based on extensive research.That research distilled down to its essence demonstrates that stress is not, as is often portrayed in popular culture, the enemy. Data from two separate fields, academia, and industry, while having opposing views on who is responsible for reducing felt stress, both agree that the primary mitigator of harmful distress is locus of control (LOC).Internal LOC locates the control within the individual whereas external LOC locates the control from outside forces. The consensus by academia and industry is the more LOC is internal, the less distress is felt. Chosen versus imposed stressors yield less harmful impacts from the distress.This research becomes a powerful tool to help reduce distress by restoring control to the individual. Life can be so overwhelming that automatic knee jerk reactions are used to fend off a constant barrage of stressors. The CHOICES Model provides a way to be proactive. The more this is done consciously the greater the sense of wellbeing.The book presents seven life areas which give purpose and meaning. The areas include Community, Health, Occupation, Investment, Creativity, Education, and Spirituality. Each is essential to a quality life. The premise of this book is that an individual’s perception of their own personal power increases with every small success and one area of success gives the individual confidence to believe in themselves enough to attempt challenges in the other domains.There’s a chapter for each of these seven equally important domains. Each area is defined along with the rationale and tools necessary for personal development. Community is important because we are social beings with needs for belonging. Letting someone know you care allows joy to spring through both your hearts.No matter our physical or mental condition, health matters to all of us. Our personal level of wellbeing sets the limits for what can be our personal best. Build strength and immunity when feeling well and be gentle with yourself when you’re not.Occupation is important because we all have a need to be part of something bigger than ourselves; a calling to make a difference; and a desire to leave a meaningful legacy. This needn’t be one’s vocation. It is literally what occupies our time and energy. It may be an avocation or volunteer service work. However we spend our time, let our life’s work lift our hearts and move us all into better days.Investment is not limited to finances. This area is all about how we spend our resources. Besides money, it includes our time, energy, and level of commitment. Let’s be generous and give of ourselves without expecting anything in return. In this way we all have the power to be superheroes.Creativity is important because it defines who we are. We build a life. We express who we are. We make something that only we can imagine. Expressions from our hearts are never wasted. When we bring something new into this world we give birth to something that will survive us.Education is something we do naturally and have done since we took our first breath. Lifelong learning helps us make our way in the world. We know that reading to a child instills curiosity and ignites intelligence. Let’s read to a child tonight and if that’s not possible, let’s all continue reading to our inner child.Finally, spirituality provides transcendence to see and feel beyond our limitations and provides love when facing the void. Namaste! The light within me bows to the light within you. Let’s spread this message and celebrate the sacred in each other.
